Dating a rape victim help
Hello, I was going to ask advice from anyone who is aware of this situation. I feel like a sponge that has been squeezed dry because she needs me so. The despair that overwhelms me with this is unbearable. I know for me it's extermely hard to trust anyone, especially males.I am currently dating a woman that I am absolutely in love with. She was raped as a teenager at a college fraternity house by multiple men. It would be a good idea for her to find a therapist and try to get some help. It is making me say and do things I normally wouldn't do. I usually don't get too close to people because Im afraid they'll hurt me again.(Trigger Warning) When his girlfriend, Marina*, told him that she had been raped in high school, Tim’s* first reaction was that he didn’t know how to respond.Shock quickly became anger at what the rapist had done to her.Or to be so up front.“I may be a lesbian because of what happened to me, I don’t know.It doesn’t really matter at this point.”I guess, maybe in some way, I didn’t expect her to be so it.Sometimes when we get in even the smallest dis-agreement- she will end up in a corner literally pulling her hair out saying things like I just want to die, I am a crazy person and things that are really signs of deep hurt. I talked with someone recently (specialist) that said this is probably a symptom of post-traumatic syndrome. Ironically, she almost broke up with me because she couldn't handle those episodes that she went into. I was told to back off and realize that it's not me- its her. I just think everything could be worse I really think she needs professional help, it worked for me. Being strong and talking about what happened is the best cure.
If you haven't dated a rape victim yet, you likely will.They suffer immensely, but they are just as much themselves after the rape as before.Another rape victim I dated was a butch woman who had just adopted a kitten that completely befuddled her.When I went back to her apartment, the kitten was everywhere attacking everything.“I’m sorry,” she said, “I’ve historically been more of a dog person.”She was pretty open about her anger towards men, and her sexual orientation was difficult to quantify because her attractions included “any gender that’s not cis male.” Can’t say I blamed her.But, despite her anger, she was completely and fully .
It's incredibly painful to watch a person you love go through a trauma like rape and you might not know how to support a rape victim.