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If, at any point, you found the hottie/douchey mock to entertain, enlighten, enrage, or another adjective that begins with “e,” I am grateful. Kinda hard to find joy in the assinine foibles and bad taste of youth dating when the world is toking a shmeg pipe filled with rat poop and pumpkin seed. Thus proving my theorem that even in the age of Trumpocalypse, douche aura permeates beyond the performative signifiers. Monday, January 16, 2017 What a flaming Slouvakian dumpster fire. Let you be forever damned as the rank choadscrote that you chose to become due to your own misguided volition. I’ve been spending so much time practicing nerd chants in school cafeterias I haven’t been able to summon much strength to keep posts up these days. A walking Walking Dead walker with the rotting, fetid stench of seasons five through seven seeping through every cell of your corporeal body. You are to be psychologically and conceptually quarantined. I curse you with every elemental fiber of my being. You are not a part of the legitimate discourse of a civil society. For the stench of hair spike semi-employed wank-tool pawing pooch suckle thigh innocence rends the power chords, riffs into dissonance, and transcends into the sublime. We solidified some major decisions on direction and technology, assigned responsibilities, and planned deliverables. Any HTS user can tell you that many parts of the site are broken, and any staffer can tell you it's because the code is atrocious.We plan on redoing everything from the ground up, starting first with a Single Sign-On system -- which was what we planned today -- to decouple authentication and make adding new things much easier. If you'd like to be part of this major undertaking, please hop on our IRC and ask about it in the #hackthissite channel, or email us at staff (at) hack this site (dot) org.

But still keepin’ on as best I can in a world of too many Aryan crypto-Nazi movie stars named Chris and not nearly enough Madchen Amick. In four days a tangerine uvula will spittle across our collective national identity like an angry, castrated llama gnawing on a Jolly Rancher. You have given in to the dark forces of greasy pec butt fondle spikewank. But the time for mock has never been more important. It’s like a fourth grade purple nurple delivered by Timmy Flynn to poor Gavin Mac Garninkle mated with a greased up Arizona cactus and then that hybrid being vomited up a Poltergeist II tequila worm, only to see that purple cactus worm vomit hybridity coalesce into human form just to pinch Victoria’s tooter.

Which is to say a unique amalgam of improvisational choadnuttery.

It may not be much when dudebros roam the earth with giant beards and youthful communication is primarily done through the semiotics of emojis. Friday, June 17, 2016 If toxic hottie/doucheybaggery were jazz, this would be Billie Holliday’s first performance of “Strange Fruit” crossed with Dave Brubeck’s “Take Five” and finished off by a Django Reinhardt flamenco riff.

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Saturday, June 10, 2017 Well hello there, ye fellow ‘bag hunters, hott enthusiasts, and lovers of the mock! I am honored, humbled, and filled with the tingliest of shmeg tickle to see that this ole’ web relic of the late aughts and early 10s still gets a little foot traffic in the age of internet Borg control and hive mind Chris Hardwick faux nerd blankness. Certainly not as we enter the political douchepocalypse that has enveloped. Thursday, March 16, 2017 You might presume that a faux tanned Ed Hardy disciple inappropriately cuddle-macking Svetlana is uberdouche precisely because of douche face. Even devoid of doucheface, Charles Von Cankersore retains a high degree of smelly poo. I expunge you with every ounce of my soul, my shmeg, and my spirit. And you are certainly not invited to my next birthday party.

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